Yet this can be one of most challenging and difficult areas in any interaction between a couple, because so many of the factors that make a relationship succeed or fail are unconscious, out of awareness, not known, and therefore can impact in an unexpected way at the least provocation.
These unconscious factors that can interfere with a successful relationship are what Carl Jung called in “shadow” — shadow being the unconscious part of ourselves that we have hidden, repressed or denied, and which still impacts on our behaviour and feelings — particularly in relationships.
Now this may seem quite bizarre and possibly unreal to you — the idea that hidden parts of yourself can impact on your relationship; but think of how many times you’ve suddenly exploded into anger, or fear, or guilt or some other powerful emotion just because your partner said something that produced an unexpected response in you.
This is a perfect example of how powerful emotions in the unconscious can affect current behaviour, and is probably no exaggeration to say that these shadow emotions are mostly responsible for the breakup of boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, and partners of all other kinds.
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The tragedy is of course that these things are in the unconscious and therefore we very rarely get to see them, and even more rarely do we have a chance to work on them.
You could therefore say that one good thing that can come out of a relationship breakup is the fact that it gives you insight into your deeper emotional issues, and perhaps also a chance to heal them.
It’s an unexpected perspective — regarding a breakup with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend as a good thing, and perhaps something even quite therapeutic, but it’s a very positive way of looking at the situation, and one which can reframe what seems like an emotional disaster — and perhaps even the “end of your meaningful life” — into something more positive and constructive.
After all, you can take the emotional healing comes from repairing a relationship breakup into the future, and use it to establish a better and perhaps more constructive way of life, either with the same partner or with a different one, depending on whether or not you choose to find reconciliation or move on.
And here we are, right at the heart of the matter — how exactly do you reconcile with your ex-boyfriend, or get back together with your ex-girlfriend, particularly if the breakup has been a bitter one?
There’s No Simple Answer to This Question Of Course, But One Good Way Is to Use the Help of an Internet Program like
Text Your Ex Back
You see, Text Your Ex Back is a program written by Mike Fiore specifically designed for men and women who have ended a relationship with their partner, or who have been “dumped by their partner”. He says, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, it’s possible to get back together with your partner by using a few simple psychological strategies. You can read all about this at www.textingtolove.com – where the program is described in details.
Now of course, text your ex back is all about getting back together with a person who you really think you should never have broken up with — it’s not about getting back together with somebody because your ego tells you that that’s going to make you feel better!
No, it’s about getting back together with someone because you genuinely believe that there is the possibility of establishing a new relationship that’s far better than the old one.
Now one of the things that can make this a lot easier for you is maintaining an emotional distance for a period of time before you actually start asking questions of your partner — that is to say, questions about their willingness to re-establish a relationship with you.
Is this what you want? A relationship make-up, not a break-up?
When you do ask these questions, the rather surprising thing, perhaps, is that you going to ask these questions by means of an e-mail or SMS message.
You may wonder why text messaging is a good way to re-establish a relationship, or at least to try and re-establish a relationship, because we’re mostly brought up to think that the only answer to emotional difficulties or emotional conflict is to sit down and talk about the matter in hand.
Well the answer that seems to be a simple one: when you’re in an emotive situations such as the aftermath of the relationship breakup, it’s far easier to establish good communication in a neutral medium.
And there’s hardly anything more neutral than SMS messages — which can convey just exactly whatever you want them to convey; that could be information about emotional feelings, or it could be a statement of your simple, straightforward desire to re-establish contact, or it could be questions about how your partner, or more accurately, soon to be ex-ex-partner, is doing.
Whatever you use the medium for, you’ll enter find that if you follow Mike Fiore’s instructions, is remarkably effective and powerful way of introducing your partner to the idea of reconciliation.
The great advantage of this program is that it provides you with detailed instructions about what to say, how to say it, and when to say it, using text messages alone.
In a short paragraph like this it’s rather difficult to explain the complexities of such a program, so my suggestion would be that you actually go and have a look at my review of the program and see if you think it might help you re-establish a good and useful relationship with your ex-partner.